I'm sitting here at Shades of Brown, hurting. Van Morrison is playing over the radio, and every time I hear his voice, my thoughts go immediately to my dad. I miss him so much. I think one of the things that I miss the most is that I could talk to him about anything. This wasn't always the case, but toward the end of his life, probably about the last two yers that he was alive, it seemed like our communication got a lot better. Wish I could talk to him now...
Anyway, the reason that I am so hurt today is that some people in my life just don't understand me. I feel like I am not the same person that I was before I had two children (mentally, physically, literally). But it's the expectation that I get from some people in my life that I must be the same that really bothers me. There are just some things that I cannot live up to right now. I won't go into details, but I know that it is just going to take some time for things to get back to normal. My body is just different now. Here are just a few of the things that they don't tell you when you sign up for the whole preggo thing:
1. Your boobs will never be the same- Large, then really large and rock hard, then tiny. A better word would be deflated.
2. Your feet get bigger- no explanation needed.
3. Sex drive, what sex drive?- Passing a watermelon through a straw just doesn't really do justice to what actually happens. Straws don't have sex, or want to. And lately, neither do I.
4. Sleep, what sleep?- no explanation needed.
I love my babies, don't get me wrong. I just wish I had my medium-but-perky boobs, small feet, and 10 hour sleep nights back. Oh, to dream...
c
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