bittersweet

I've lately decided that my least favorite emotion is bittersweet. Unless it's chocolate, I don't want it. Bittersweet means that it should be good, but there is an element of sadness thrown in. Something is missing. Someone is missing. Usually this emotion hits at times of should-be elation, pulling it down a couple of notches. As a bride, I was thrilled to be slipping on my dress and walking down the aisle. But Danette wasn't there, and everytime I remembered it the smile fell away from my face. My dad is gone, but birthdays happen anyway.. I relate the feeling of bittersweet to the morning after losing someone you love. There is a forgetfulness in the morning, wich is sometimes a blessing. But the light of day following the loss is different. That realization hits you after sitting up and stretching your arms above your head. All you want to do is go back to sleep. A fresh day tarnished from the beginning. That is bittersweet.
Sorry to be a downer. I did get a camera for my birthday...