Ok, I'll try to do this without sounding morbid, pity-seeking, or otherwise distraught. After a recent trip to the hospital, my dad is now in the care of a hospice-like setup called the Clarehouse. He is non-responsive and fading fast. In 1999 he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. After about two years of treatment he went into remission. Last January his cancer returned. He was ok until about six weeks ago, when he went into the hospital the first time. He had pneumonia and we discovered that the cancer had spread to his arms, legs, and spinal cord. He began feeling a little better and returned home. Three weeks ago he went back into the hospital with intense migraines and nausea. It was then that we found out that the cancer was now in his skull, and he had swelling of the brain caused by something in his spinal fluid and the covering over his brain. Where things are now is that he most likely won't wake up again.
So, obviously a few things are going through my mind at a time like this...
I am understanding that there are some things that I will never get to do with my dad again. And, because I like lists for their therapeudic stress-releiving properties, they are as follows:
-swim (dad would sunburn so bad it made him ill, literally. He threw up from it)
-go see a movie (which dad loved doing, even in the middle of a work day. It pays to own your own business!)
-go to the lake (which was our summer activity for my whole childhood)
-drink coffee (my love for coffee, I believe, was hereditery. My earliest memories are helping my mom get my dad another cup of coffee)
-ski (the family's winter vacation of choice)
-have philosophical debates
-talk about anything literary or english related (we're both English majors, one of his favorite authors was C. S. Lewis. He wrote poetry up to about a month ago)
-watch movies at home, in the surround sound (any of you who know my dad will probably have many memories of him back behind the entertainment center with his glasses on and a flashlight in hand, fidgeting with the surround sound...)
-shoot pool (I've only ever beat him once.)
the list goes on....
c
3 comments:
Praying for ya Cass.
i hope that WAS theraputic. you're strong.
this comment may be a little late, but oh well. I wish i could've known uncle bill the way you and casey did. After reading your blog, I now know where many of my habits and favorites come from. The english talks, watching movies like its your job. I miss him too. I hope things are well with you, casey, matt, and ava. love you
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